Post by Ian Martin on Aug 26, 2014 1:02:51 GMT -8
REQUEST FOR BETA READERS
Beta readers wanted for two novel length works.
By ‘beta reader’ I mean someone to simply read the book through and give me their honest opinion in a few sentences; no detailed editorial analysis. What I would like to know is;
- does the story flow well enough to keep your interest
- do the characters engage (sympathetically or otherwise)
- is the dialogue believable
- are the themes and premise of the story convincing.
Of course, if you have to struggle to keep going, please don’t continue. You are doing me a favor after all, so if it’s painful, stop.
Also, the works contain adult themes and some strong language.
If I haven’t put you off by now, the works are as follows.
THE TRAVEL AGENCY ((2nd Edition)
A novel of approx. 78,000 words
Third person omniscient, science fiction (contemporary settings on Earth and elsewhere)
Pitch/blurb
Adventure holidays on Earth have been big business for nearly a thousand years. Regulation and recruitment are ongoing headaches for the Agency. However, you do get some interesting types in the trade.
THIN SKINNED & Other Stories
An anthology of 9 stories (73,000 words approx.)
Science fiction, horror and fantasy
These stories range from a short, 2000 word children’s tale (Dragonische) to a 23,000 word novella (Thylacine). While generally third person (omniscient and limited) there is one first person story, Dagon’s Whisper.
So if you’re interested in either of these, I can be reached here by reply, on Twitter @ianmartin9 or by email at jamidm4519@gmail.com. Reading copies can be supplied in .mobi, .epub or .pdf.
To give you a general flavor of my reading preferences I am a fan of almost anything by J.K.Rowling (except The Casual Vacancy), Jim Butcher, Peter O’Donnell, David Eddings, Raymond E. Feist, Catherine Webb, Stig Larsson, Frank Herbert, Neal Asher.
In terms of writing style the following is, I believe, a fair example.
ST LOUIS, USAC.
Jesse met Colonel Jackson at the secure foyer. He couldn’t pass inwards without her and had been pacing for ten minutes.
When Bobby stepped out of the lift, he said, “Well, what’s the word?”
“Good morning to you, too, Jesse. The word is good. She’s safe and well. General Goldstein has interviewed her at length and provided additional security to the Austral …”
“What do you mean ‘additional’. Shouldn’t she be in his care?”
Jackson stopped what she was doing; thumbprint and retina scans at the security desk, and gave Jesse Matheson a long hard look.
He glared back then looked away sheepishly. “She’s the closest thing I’ve had to a true friend in a very long time. And she put me in charge of the biggest scientific project in human history when I might still be splitting atoms for some shitkicker outfit like Exotek.” He paused.
“I’m understandably concerned,” he said quietly, with only slightly forced dignity.
Bobby smiled and laughed softly, “I know. But take your concern out on someone else. I’m the cavalry and if you piss me off I’ll trample you under foot.”
“OK”
“Good.” And she finished her check-in and they passed through the scanning tunnel into the holding and interrogation center. “Now, Mare is staying with her new Australian friends. Seems she trusts them and after what she’s been through I can’t say I blame her. Apparently, this Finbar Macklin took out three enhanced mercenaries by himself. That’s significant. Goldstein will apply blanket security to whatever they have. We won’t lose her again, Jesse.”
“Good. When can I talk to her? She’ll want to know what’s happening here.”
“Soon. I have to confirm the weather watch shortly before I depart to pick her up. Then once we’re away, Trent will set up a secure link and you can catch up.”
Jesse let a long breath, “OK. OK. That’s good. I needed to hear that. Thanks, Bobby.”
His relief was palpable and Jackson put her hand on his shoulder, cupping his neck, “Relax,” she said softly and he did, a vast tide of calm settling over him, draining away the tension.
“Now,” said Jackson removing her hand, “Do you know our friend in here?” They had stopped at a conference room, its clouded, glazed door losing its opacity at Bobby’s thumb press on the nearby sensor.
“Yes,” said Matheson, shaking himself slightly. “He’s one of the assembly supervisors. They alternate between ground and orbital stations.”
They entered the room quietly and stood inside the door, which snicked shut after them.
“He’s wired.”
“Yes, of course. The work requires it,” answered Matheson.
“Because of the danger or the radiation,” speculated Jackson.
“Both.”
The man they observed was pacing, a concerned frown on his handsome face. His interrogator remained seated and frustratingly calm.
“You’re financials give the lie to your story, Enrique. We know they’ve been paying your cousin. And she’s been slipping you a steady trickle of cash for years. You …”
The pacing man glanced sharply at his questioner as she mentioned his beloved cousin.
“They have her youngest child,” he said in a whisper. “We are trapped. I had no choice. And now … you know …”
Suddenly, he moved, racing at blinding speed towards Jackson and Matheson at the far side of the conference room, his face contorted in rage and panic.
“Oh, shit ...” began Jesse Matheson, realizing he had only fractions of a second to react or die.
Before he could do either the woman beside him disappeared in a small pop of imploding air. And Enrique Hernandez was frozen in mid stride held by the throat and off the ground by the supple and shapely arm of Colonel Roberta Jackson. She walked back to the interrogator and laid Hernandez out on the table while Jesse trotted to catch up.
“How the freakin’ hell did you do that?”
“Yes, Colonel,” echoed the interrogator who had stood. “How indeed! You’re not listed as enhanced.”
“Need to know, Major Trent. There’ll be forms to fill out shortly. And if you open your mouth to anyone, either of you, then you will be isolated and frozen. Understood?”
“Yes, Colonel,” replied Trent, standing to attention.
“Jesse?”
“Yes, Bobby,” said Matheson, “I understand.”
Jackson placed her hand over the rigid man’s heart and he first sagged and then jerked back to consciousness. Glancing up at the other three he fixed on Jackson and said, “How …”
“Stand up” said Bobby, in a quiet commanding voice and Hernandez surged to his feet.
“Speak the truth. What have you done?”
Hernandez blurted out his story over the next ten minutes; of the sly corruption that had quietly stolen partners and children of key personnel and turned them into enforced watchers. And confirmation that the unidentified leader in Bogota was an Exotek sleeper, Mellita. A Bible Thumper, to boot; from the Texan enclaves, the last groups to join the USAC. Trent’s PDA recorded it all and then she placed a restraining clamp on the man’s wrist and led him away to a holding cell.
Jesse was numb. Ground Zero’s security was in tatters. But at least Mare was safe. And Bobby, the very impressive colonel, was going to bring her back. While she was away he would fix the security problem. Then they would deal with Exotek. The bastards. Anger unfroze him and he turned to see Bobby quietly watching him.
“Sorry,” he said, “I was a bit distracted.”
“No problem. You think well. I enjoyed it.” And she leaned in and kissed him firmly on the mouth before turning and taking her leave. “We’ll talk when I get back.”
Jesse remembered to close his mouth several seconds after the door had zipped shut.
Beta readers wanted for two novel length works.
By ‘beta reader’ I mean someone to simply read the book through and give me their honest opinion in a few sentences; no detailed editorial analysis. What I would like to know is;
- does the story flow well enough to keep your interest
- do the characters engage (sympathetically or otherwise)
- is the dialogue believable
- are the themes and premise of the story convincing.
Of course, if you have to struggle to keep going, please don’t continue. You are doing me a favor after all, so if it’s painful, stop.
Also, the works contain adult themes and some strong language.
If I haven’t put you off by now, the works are as follows.
THE TRAVEL AGENCY ((2nd Edition)
A novel of approx. 78,000 words
Third person omniscient, science fiction (contemporary settings on Earth and elsewhere)
Pitch/blurb
Adventure holidays on Earth have been big business for nearly a thousand years. Regulation and recruitment are ongoing headaches for the Agency. However, you do get some interesting types in the trade.
THIN SKINNED & Other Stories
An anthology of 9 stories (73,000 words approx.)
Science fiction, horror and fantasy
These stories range from a short, 2000 word children’s tale (Dragonische) to a 23,000 word novella (Thylacine). While generally third person (omniscient and limited) there is one first person story, Dagon’s Whisper.
So if you’re interested in either of these, I can be reached here by reply, on Twitter @ianmartin9 or by email at jamidm4519@gmail.com. Reading copies can be supplied in .mobi, .epub or .pdf.
To give you a general flavor of my reading preferences I am a fan of almost anything by J.K.Rowling (except The Casual Vacancy), Jim Butcher, Peter O’Donnell, David Eddings, Raymond E. Feist, Catherine Webb, Stig Larsson, Frank Herbert, Neal Asher.
In terms of writing style the following is, I believe, a fair example.
ST LOUIS, USAC.
Jesse met Colonel Jackson at the secure foyer. He couldn’t pass inwards without her and had been pacing for ten minutes.
When Bobby stepped out of the lift, he said, “Well, what’s the word?”
“Good morning to you, too, Jesse. The word is good. She’s safe and well. General Goldstein has interviewed her at length and provided additional security to the Austral …”
“What do you mean ‘additional’. Shouldn’t she be in his care?”
Jackson stopped what she was doing; thumbprint and retina scans at the security desk, and gave Jesse Matheson a long hard look.
He glared back then looked away sheepishly. “She’s the closest thing I’ve had to a true friend in a very long time. And she put me in charge of the biggest scientific project in human history when I might still be splitting atoms for some shitkicker outfit like Exotek.” He paused.
“I’m understandably concerned,” he said quietly, with only slightly forced dignity.
Bobby smiled and laughed softly, “I know. But take your concern out on someone else. I’m the cavalry and if you piss me off I’ll trample you under foot.”
“OK”
“Good.” And she finished her check-in and they passed through the scanning tunnel into the holding and interrogation center. “Now, Mare is staying with her new Australian friends. Seems she trusts them and after what she’s been through I can’t say I blame her. Apparently, this Finbar Macklin took out three enhanced mercenaries by himself. That’s significant. Goldstein will apply blanket security to whatever they have. We won’t lose her again, Jesse.”
“Good. When can I talk to her? She’ll want to know what’s happening here.”
“Soon. I have to confirm the weather watch shortly before I depart to pick her up. Then once we’re away, Trent will set up a secure link and you can catch up.”
Jesse let a long breath, “OK. OK. That’s good. I needed to hear that. Thanks, Bobby.”
His relief was palpable and Jackson put her hand on his shoulder, cupping his neck, “Relax,” she said softly and he did, a vast tide of calm settling over him, draining away the tension.
“Now,” said Jackson removing her hand, “Do you know our friend in here?” They had stopped at a conference room, its clouded, glazed door losing its opacity at Bobby’s thumb press on the nearby sensor.
“Yes,” said Matheson, shaking himself slightly. “He’s one of the assembly supervisors. They alternate between ground and orbital stations.”
They entered the room quietly and stood inside the door, which snicked shut after them.
“He’s wired.”
“Yes, of course. The work requires it,” answered Matheson.
“Because of the danger or the radiation,” speculated Jackson.
“Both.”
The man they observed was pacing, a concerned frown on his handsome face. His interrogator remained seated and frustratingly calm.
“You’re financials give the lie to your story, Enrique. We know they’ve been paying your cousin. And she’s been slipping you a steady trickle of cash for years. You …”
The pacing man glanced sharply at his questioner as she mentioned his beloved cousin.
“They have her youngest child,” he said in a whisper. “We are trapped. I had no choice. And now … you know …”
Suddenly, he moved, racing at blinding speed towards Jackson and Matheson at the far side of the conference room, his face contorted in rage and panic.
“Oh, shit ...” began Jesse Matheson, realizing he had only fractions of a second to react or die.
Before he could do either the woman beside him disappeared in a small pop of imploding air. And Enrique Hernandez was frozen in mid stride held by the throat and off the ground by the supple and shapely arm of Colonel Roberta Jackson. She walked back to the interrogator and laid Hernandez out on the table while Jesse trotted to catch up.
“How the freakin’ hell did you do that?”
“Yes, Colonel,” echoed the interrogator who had stood. “How indeed! You’re not listed as enhanced.”
“Need to know, Major Trent. There’ll be forms to fill out shortly. And if you open your mouth to anyone, either of you, then you will be isolated and frozen. Understood?”
“Yes, Colonel,” replied Trent, standing to attention.
“Jesse?”
“Yes, Bobby,” said Matheson, “I understand.”
Jackson placed her hand over the rigid man’s heart and he first sagged and then jerked back to consciousness. Glancing up at the other three he fixed on Jackson and said, “How …”
“Stand up” said Bobby, in a quiet commanding voice and Hernandez surged to his feet.
“Speak the truth. What have you done?”
Hernandez blurted out his story over the next ten minutes; of the sly corruption that had quietly stolen partners and children of key personnel and turned them into enforced watchers. And confirmation that the unidentified leader in Bogota was an Exotek sleeper, Mellita. A Bible Thumper, to boot; from the Texan enclaves, the last groups to join the USAC. Trent’s PDA recorded it all and then she placed a restraining clamp on the man’s wrist and led him away to a holding cell.
Jesse was numb. Ground Zero’s security was in tatters. But at least Mare was safe. And Bobby, the very impressive colonel, was going to bring her back. While she was away he would fix the security problem. Then they would deal with Exotek. The bastards. Anger unfroze him and he turned to see Bobby quietly watching him.
“Sorry,” he said, “I was a bit distracted.”
“No problem. You think well. I enjoyed it.” And she leaned in and kissed him firmly on the mouth before turning and taking her leave. “We’ll talk when I get back.”
Jesse remembered to close his mouth several seconds after the door had zipped shut.